A BOY LOVES A GIRL !
While on a reluctant stroll on the lane, a “boy” walks down the memory lane.
Some very fine memories ,her smile,her lively eyes and midst all such memories, sorrow has circumscribed this "boy's" heart .
A boy because this 23 yr old man is a rebel ,he has rebelled against being a part of this incessant worldly race-a race where one celebrates the defeat of the other ,where success ,glory ,recognition marks the greatness .Where one is not oneself, where one is all clad by envelope of selfishness .In that man’s world he has preserved his innocence ,he has refused to grow up. He is a strong looking man but there resides an innocent boy in his heart. An innocent boy today feels miserable.Can't you see scars on his tender knees ,he has fallen many times in his life but always stood up soon with determination,but this time's fall has not only bruised his knees ,it has left scars in his heart .
He feels he was happy when” she” was not there but he contradicts saying to himself that her company is what has made his mundane life lively.
An unusual dilemma has been running in his mind all this while and dilemma is that a maladaptive day dreamer has starting loving a girl. This girl is a serene impulse, a serendipity for him. He loves her to the core, doesn't want to lose her but is afraid of confessing.He has loved her in silence,because in silence there is no rejection.In silence only "he " and "she" reside ,aloof from this world.In silence ,his love dwells.But what is love if it left unexpressed?
An unexpressed love hurts and wound you from within. It bleeds within you, it pleads to set free .The burden of an unexpressed love tear apart your soul. There is nothing more painful than an untold truth concealed within the four walls of the heart .Truth can never remain hidden .It is like diamond in coal mine .It glitters, it finds way to get expressed sometimes but a boy who has been taught not to show what he feels ;a boy who has been taught that showing weakness is not the sign of a “man”;that to cry and burst into tears is something feminine ; that man is born to compete ,succeed, win and conquer suppresses the truth into numerous layers of his heart .At times he feels layers are so many that he himself gets puzzled on the thought that whether he loves her or not .Suppression has killed his conviction he feels he is deceiving himself
Today, he hasn't been able to sleep, he sees through the window, he sees darkness unusual silence has enveloped the street ; cool breeze is not soothing as always have been .The rustling of the autumn leaves ,the cool breeze are all singing the songs of melancholy in unison. The falling autumn leaves he sees......For the first time in 23 years, he is feeling the pain of segregation .Existence knows only two things: genesis and separation, all else is struggle with the existence itself. And today he feels bereaved for the falling autumn leaves.
It is not that chilly but he is all through in dilemma .A silence all around is in complete contrast with the clamor of his inner self. A boy who has been struggling to set his feet firm to tread on this man’s world has been thrashed by strokes of love .Love is prerogative of courageous ,He is timid ,He fears what all resolve he has gathered to face this world will once again get diluted in the volumes of love .He fears his integrity will not remain intact .To love is to lose yourself .The “boy” is already struggling to make a mark on his ambitious trail and a girl has captured his heart .He knows no way to escape from here on. He has been trapped .What is the most agonizing thing? He wants to get her but his apprehensions have halted his voyage .A voyage on which he is ready to go, with his tender emotions accompanying him to her heart but to love a person is to win over that person and this “boy” who is a 23 year old man hasn't known to win .
He wants to tell her what she means to him but he fears if she will not understand then he will lose a friend also .Those lively discussions; those random topics –he wants these to never to end .He knows if she feels unusual about his inclination then she will even quit talking. A boy who has faced a long phase of solitude and segregation never wants the communication to get halted .He loves her to the core but even he doesn't know whether she loves him or not!
Today he feels he should have resorted to alcohol, he just want to escape from mist of despair that is surrounding but he is a wrestler .Today he is fighting with himself .Impulsive impatient urges are today fighting with the disciplined ones! A lovesick falling in love is no big surprise and moreover the girl he loves knows nothing about how he feels for her .The intensity is something which reflects from eyes but diffident boy hardly looks into her eyes ,he know once he does that ,whatever fractured resolve he has, will diminish and then it will be hard to recuperate .
Two silent ends of a river never meet. He wants to meet her .he wants to jaunt along with her hands in hands to a place where there is silence ,where they are all alone ,where his silence can talk ,where his eyes can speak what his heart could not speak …….
While on a reluctant stroll on the lane, a “boy” walks down the memory lane.
Some very fine memories ,her smile,her lively eyes and midst all such memories, sorrow has circumscribed this "boy's" heart .
A boy because this 23 yr old man is a rebel ,he has rebelled against being a part of this incessant worldly race-a race where one celebrates the defeat of the other ,where success ,glory ,recognition marks the greatness .Where one is not oneself, where one is all clad by envelope of selfishness .In that man’s world he has preserved his innocence ,he has refused to grow up. He is a strong looking man but there resides an innocent boy in his heart. An innocent boy today feels miserable.Can't you see scars on his tender knees ,he has fallen many times in his life but always stood up soon with determination,but this time's fall has not only bruised his knees ,it has left scars in his heart .
He feels he was happy when” she” was not there but he contradicts saying to himself that her company is what has made his mundane life lively.
An unusual dilemma has been running in his mind all this while and dilemma is that a maladaptive day dreamer has starting loving a girl. This girl is a serene impulse, a serendipity for him. He loves her to the core, doesn't want to lose her but is afraid of confessing.He has loved her in silence,because in silence there is no rejection.In silence only "he " and "she" reside ,aloof from this world.In silence ,his love dwells.But what is love if it left unexpressed?
An unexpressed love hurts and wound you from within. It bleeds within you, it pleads to set free .The burden of an unexpressed love tear apart your soul. There is nothing more painful than an untold truth concealed within the four walls of the heart .Truth can never remain hidden .It is like diamond in coal mine .It glitters, it finds way to get expressed sometimes but a boy who has been taught not to show what he feels ;a boy who has been taught that showing weakness is not the sign of a “man”;that to cry and burst into tears is something feminine ; that man is born to compete ,succeed, win and conquer suppresses the truth into numerous layers of his heart .At times he feels layers are so many that he himself gets puzzled on the thought that whether he loves her or not .Suppression has killed his conviction he feels he is deceiving himself
Today, he hasn't been able to sleep, he sees through the window, he sees darkness unusual silence has enveloped the street ; cool breeze is not soothing as always have been .The rustling of the autumn leaves ,the cool breeze are all singing the songs of melancholy in unison. The falling autumn leaves he sees......For the first time in 23 years, he is feeling the pain of segregation .Existence knows only two things: genesis and separation, all else is struggle with the existence itself. And today he feels bereaved for the falling autumn leaves.
It is not that chilly but he is all through in dilemma .A silence all around is in complete contrast with the clamor of his inner self. A boy who has been struggling to set his feet firm to tread on this man’s world has been thrashed by strokes of love .Love is prerogative of courageous ,He is timid ,He fears what all resolve he has gathered to face this world will once again get diluted in the volumes of love .He fears his integrity will not remain intact .To love is to lose yourself .The “boy” is already struggling to make a mark on his ambitious trail and a girl has captured his heart .He knows no way to escape from here on. He has been trapped .What is the most agonizing thing? He wants to get her but his apprehensions have halted his voyage .A voyage on which he is ready to go, with his tender emotions accompanying him to her heart but to love a person is to win over that person and this “boy” who is a 23 year old man hasn't known to win .
He wants to tell her what she means to him but he fears if she will not understand then he will lose a friend also .Those lively discussions; those random topics –he wants these to never to end .He knows if she feels unusual about his inclination then she will even quit talking. A boy who has faced a long phase of solitude and segregation never wants the communication to get halted .He loves her to the core but even he doesn't know whether she loves him or not!
Today he feels he should have resorted to alcohol, he just want to escape from mist of despair that is surrounding but he is a wrestler .Today he is fighting with himself .Impulsive impatient urges are today fighting with the disciplined ones! A lovesick falling in love is no big surprise and moreover the girl he loves knows nothing about how he feels for her .The intensity is something which reflects from eyes but diffident boy hardly looks into her eyes ,he know once he does that ,whatever fractured resolve he has, will diminish and then it will be hard to recuperate .
Two silent ends of a river never meet. He wants to meet her .he wants to jaunt along with her hands in hands to a place where there is silence ,where they are all alone ,where his silence can talk ,where his eyes can speak what his heart could not speak …….
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