A Boy Loves A Girl

A BOY LOVES A GIRL !


While on a reluctant stroll on the lane, a “boy” walks down the memory lane.
Some very fine memories ,her smile,her lively eyes and midst all such memories, sorrow has circumscribed this "boy's" heart .
A boy because this 23 yr old man is a rebel ,he has rebelled against being a part of this incessant worldly race-a race where one celebrates the defeat of the other ,where success ,glory ,recognition marks the greatness .Where one is not oneself, where one is all clad by envelope of selfishness .In that man’s world he has preserved his innocence ,he has refused  to grow up. He is a strong looking man but there resides an innocent boy in his heart. An innocent boy today feels miserable.Can't you see scars on his tender knees ,he has fallen many times in his life but always stood up soon with determination,but this time's fall has not only bruised his knees ,it has left scars in his heart .
He feels he was happy when” she” was not there but he contradicts saying to himself that her company is what has made his mundane life lively.
An unusual dilemma has been running in his mind all this while and dilemma is that a maladaptive day dreamer has starting loving a girl.  This girl is a serene impulse, a serendipity for him. He loves her to the core, doesn't want to lose her but is afraid of confessing.He has loved her in silence,because in silence there is no rejection.In silence only "he " and "she" reside ,aloof from this world.In silence ,his love dwells.But what is love if it left unexpressed? 
An unexpressed love hurts and wound you from within. It bleeds within you, it pleads to set free .The burden of an unexpressed love tear apart your soul. There is nothing more painful than an untold truth concealed within the four walls of the heart .Truth can never remain hidden .It is like diamond in coal mine .It glitters, it finds way to get expressed sometimes  but a boy who has been taught not to  show what he feels ;a boy who has been taught that showing weakness is not the sign of a “man”;that to cry and burst into tears is something feminine ; that man is born to compete ,succeed, win and conquer  suppresses the truth into numerous layers of his heart .At times he feels layers are so many that he himself gets puzzled on the thought that whether he loves her or not .Suppression has killed his conviction he feels he is deceiving himself

Today, he hasn't been able to sleep, he sees through the window, he sees darkness unusual silence has enveloped the street ; cool breeze is not soothing as always have been .The rustling of the autumn leaves ,the cool breeze are all singing the songs of melancholy in unison. The falling autumn leaves he sees......For the first time in 23 years, he is feeling the pain of segregation .Existence knows only two things: genesis and separation, all else is struggle with the existence itself. And today he feels bereaved for the falling autumn leaves.
It is not that chilly but he is all through in dilemma .A silence all around is in complete contrast with the clamor of his inner self. A boy who has  been struggling to set his feet firm to tread on this man’s world has been  thrashed by strokes of love .Love is prerogative of courageous ,He is timid ,He fears what all resolve he has gathered to face this world will once again get diluted in the volumes of love .He fears his integrity will not remain intact .To love is to lose yourself .The “boy” is already struggling to make a mark on his ambitious trail and a girl has captured his heart .He knows no way to escape from here on. He has been trapped .What is the most agonizing thing? He wants to get her but his apprehensions have halted his voyage .A voyage on which he is ready to go, with his tender emotions accompanying him to her heart but to love a person is to win over that person and this “boy” who is a 23 year old man hasn't known to win .
He wants to tell her what she means to him but he fears if she will not understand then he will lose a friend also .Those lively discussions; those random topics –he wants these to never to end .He knows if she feels unusual about his inclination then she will even quit talking. A boy who has faced a long phase of solitude and segregation never wants the communication to get halted .He loves her to the core but even he doesn't know whether she loves him or not!
Today he feels he should have resorted to alcohol, he just want to escape from mist of despair that is surrounding but he is a wrestler .Today he is fighting with himself .Impulsive impatient urges are today fighting with the disciplined ones! A lovesick falling in love is no big surprise and moreover the girl he loves knows nothing about how he feels for her .The intensity is something which reflects from eyes but diffident boy hardly looks into her eyes ,he know once he does that ,whatever fractured resolve he has, will diminish and then it will be hard to recuperate .

Two silent ends of a river never meet. He wants to meet her .he wants to jaunt along with her hands in hands to a place where there is silence ,where they are all alone ,where his silence can talk ,where his eyes can speak what his heart could not speak …….

THE MADMAN

Part 1
Asleep was he near a bin,
People around, running to stand under a tin
As rain was intensifying; droplets were prickly as pin
How lethargic and torpid? Why he lies still, not saving his skin?
Lying under his tattered and filthy shawl, unaffected by bin's stink
From holes in the shawl evident was his eyes' blink
"Liquor" – in unison many minds' cling
At the time when drain channels started brimming
Evident under his shawl was his shrinking
Chaotic state might have disturbed him or shawl might have started dripping
Whatever would be the reason, the wise men were only speculating
While speculations could have become assertion, we saw the giant rising
Throwing his soggy shawl in air, Oh! He ran naked and shouting
Looked as if some dormant volcano erupting
Some men and women laughed, while some ran gasping
Madman, madman said some youth standing
Some people nodded their heads in confirmation
This was his proper appellation
Because attire in which he was, left no suspicion
Rain stopped but soon in the street grew an unusual agitation
Some youth crowded around him that caused him irritation
Roared he, in the circle of wise men, attacked in aggression
All were ready with impious preparation
Stones, sticks, punch and kicks, he received as fierce retaliation
He fell on the road; bleeding at culmination; crowded by sane civilization
Melancholy and misfortune was his face's lone reflection
Through the street, he moved with a strange determination
Speaking to himself or sometimes roaring his own proclamation
In the world where sanity prevails, suffers from social separation
Some named him a wanderer while some named lunatic
As he moves devoid of materialistic possession
Some wise men speculated the state as devilish possession
While for some it was, wrath of gods that demolished his true identification
For some, it seems like a ceaseless obsession
Why is he so? Remains everybody's inquisition
Part 2
The wanderer goes on, cherishing his freedom; celebrating solitude
Shuns the beaten track of men, moves aloof and alone in the world rotund
Where people wear masks of self
In the world where hypocrisy and hatred dwells
Original self for many purposes has to be shelved
They wear a plastic smile
Hide the corruption imbibed in the heart for a while
For it may lead to a denial
With selfish intentions, they talk to seek approval
Innocence and selfishness seems to them comical
These do not affect their senses so rational
So they call him eccentric and irrational
They call him mad man
Devoid of identity, instead seems to be a wise man
For he knows nature's essential
Selfish corrodes the inner self,
Wounds due to corrosion would not heal, will remain perennial
He rebels against the veil of illusion
Hates this world full of pretensions
People lie to themselves
Still take pride, telling their identification
The rebel wanderer questions them
But they sneak past the veil in prevention
They call him mad
Wise he is, left the selfish ways where the world treads
Where hypocrisy, hatred, ego is widespread
Alone he moves, in the world where people are born dead
Denying the voices of their souls' they still remain glad?
The MADMAN as he's called refuses what rational men said
Mask less he moves on, unclad (mask of self identity and ego)
Based on his intuitions he remains free and aloof
Solitary and freedom are the two implications
Breathes the madman in spiritual exaltation
(november 22 2010)

दोस्ती तेरी मेरी

                                                    दोस्ती तेरी मेरी 

आँखों  में तेरी देखा ,मैंने अपने बचपन का साया ,
चंचल सी तेरी बातों में , भूला मैं ,क्या खोया क्या  पाया।

मासूमियत की  चादर ओढ़े तेरा हँसता सा चेहरा,
बोलती  सी आँखों में बेफ़िक्री का पहरा ।

अकेलेपन  की  अँधेरी कुटिया  में ह्रदय  जब  रोया ,
तेरी  स्मृतियों को आँखों में सहेज के सोया ।

निश्छल सा तेरा मन , तेरी  अलबेली  बातों  का  मेरे  मन  में  डेरा,
तेरी शरारत और अल्हड़पन  से, जी ,उठता है मन  मेरा ।

आकांक्षाओं  के  उधेड़बुन में राहत की ठंडी  बयार बन तू आई,
अनायास ,अकारण सी मुस्कान बनकर तू कभी कभी मुख पे छाई ।

गर्दिश के रास्ते पे चलते ,तलाशें आँखें मेरी जब अपना   ,
बच्चों  सी  सहज बातें , सींचें  सूखा  दिल  मेरा ।

स्वप्निल संसार की परिकल्पना में ,मैं तेरा साझा
ऊंट पटांग सी  बातों  में ,  अनोखा  सा मज़ा ।

अज़ीबो गरीब  सी ख्वाहिशों  पे बातें  तेरी मेरी अलहदा ,
दोस्ती  तेरी  मेरी  औरों से  ज़ुदा | |