Friday, October 25, 2013

शायद

शायद


कभी  अनायास यूँ  ही बह निकलें आंसू बहने दो उन्हें

अन्वेषण को जगह मत दो ,कारण पता ना चले शायद

कि सालों से स्वयं को छिपाए ,ख़ुद को भूल गए हो शायद

भय ,झूठ ,अहम् के लिबास ने ह्रदय ढक लिया हो शायद

बहने दो इन्हें ,चेष्ठा न करो ,ना रोको इन्हें

इस  अंतर्द्वंद्व में समपर्ण ही रास्ता दिखाए शायद

कि  कोई आकाँक्षा का दम घुटा हो  ,
वो  अपना एहसास करा रही हो शायद

कि कोई दर्द छुपा बैठा हो अंदर ,टीस  मार रहा  हो शायद

अपमान ,अपयश  ने छलनी किया हो  ह्रदय,
आज अश्रु धो दें इन्हें शायद

कठोर  बन ,जीवन जिया ,कोमल बनके देखो ,जीवन सहज बन जाए शायद
कि  कोई  काँटा  धंसा हो अंदर ,नासूर बन गया हो घाव शायद

कभी कोई आशंका प्रबल हुई हो ,उसका सामना चुप रहकर किया हो शायद

कभी उजाले को हारते ,तमस ने ह्रदय ढका हो और तुमने आँखें मूंदी हो शायद

कि किसी की बेबसी को नज़र अंदाज़ किया हो तुमने शायद

अन्याय के विरोध में ईश्वरीय अनुकम्पा की अपेक्षा  विफल  हुई हो शायद

कि प्रार्थना ने प्रारब्ध के आगे घुटने टेके हों शायद

अकेलेपन  के साए में किसी की कमी  खली  हो शायद

प्रेम व्याकुल मन कभी यूँ ही तड़पा हो शायद

विरह का गरल कभी ह्रदय में उतारा हो शायद

तो आज उन्मुक्त कर दो लज्जा की बेड़ियों से खुद को ,

कि ये न सोचो कोई क्या सोचेगा

खोल  दो अपने दिल की अँधेरी कुटिया ,जहाँ  समेटा  है  तुमने ये सब

अश्रु  की बाढ़ ,बहा ले जायेगी शायद ||


प्रेम -१

                                            प्रेम -१

सघन 
चेत्सिक अंतर्द्वंद्व में ,
कभी मुक्त मन की उड़ान में ,
कभी निरंकुश सपनों के स्वछन्द विहान में ,
कभी आशंकाओं में ,कभी अकांक्षाओं में ,
कभी हज़ारों की भीड़ में खोजूँ तो ,
स्वप्नों का साकार रूप पाता हूँ 
तुम में।

अभिभूत हूँ ,तुम में निहित सौंदर्य से ,
संजीदगी से लिपटी हो तुम ,
रूहानियत को ढूंढ पाता हूँ तुम ,
कभी अल्हड़ता में तुम्हारी ,अपना
बचपन सजीव पाता हूँ मैं ।

मर्यादों के पशोपेश में ,अभिव्यक्ति से घबराता हूँ मैं ,
आवाज़ की कशिश में तुम्हारी ,डूब जाता हूँ मैं ,
हृदयांतर में प्रकाश स्वरुप पाकर सम्पूर्ण हो जाता हूँ मैं ,
प्रेम के इस बंधन से पुलकित होता हूँ मैं ,

प्रतिक्षण ,इस आत्मीय बंधन से हर्षित होता हूँ मैं ,
इस आत्मिक बंधन को शब्दों से गढ़ता हूँ मैं ,
अद्भुत -अनुपम अनुभूति है तुम्हारा साथ ,
कामना है प्रेम यूँ ही जिए ,निः स्वार्थ ||

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Road To Dream

Road To Dream
[JANUARY 20,2011]

Standing on the threshold of charm and youth
Where world seems illuminated with knowledge and  truth
Inquiry of self is started with stroke of adolescence
Standing as tall as sky , youth is all set to embrace with benevolence

But I run stealthily back, to investigate my lost innocence
Bewildered I run away with exuberance
Freed from shackles of time , yes ,  I run behind shadow of mine

Seeing myself on mom's lap
Her sweet lullaby ,her cuddle and her cushiony tap
As a pilgrim hurries excitedly to shrine
Hesitatingly I run escaping from hands of time
I fade away in memories so fine

There! Look there ! In fields so lush and green
Runs a boy with tender knees behind a beautiful butterfly
In his eyes the ambition to catch the unseen
Freedom and beauty,so divine, flourish under this blue sky

There you see he swings under a mighty tree
So unconstrained ,so relieved he breathes in air so divine , so free
Hops down from swing he sits near a river
Sleeps under a tree , cling on which is a grape's creeper

With eager intention he jumps high
But result was void and a desperate sigh
Smiles beautifully and runs ,progressively as life

Astonishment is the surest reaction
As defeat would have hurt his tender emotion
But he moves unaffected , I gaze astound at his compassion
He runs and runs,falls again,raises again ,runs O !He runs
Runs behind curtains of vision
Once again I try to catch him ;time halts me back to realism

RAATRI JAGRAN

                        RAATRI JAGRAN

As you come down to a time after having dinner which is almost appropriate for a satiable appetite….
You almost think to switch ON the TV to see whether India is being Modified or still Asaram rules the TV and you are certainly pissed off to find the latter still dominates. Moreover seeing Deepak Chaurasia shrewd way of dealing with people and his irritating oratorical skills it seems almost frustrating for you to even keep TV switched ON for a minute ……..
After TV is switched OFF
A lull appears all around and you think as to what to do to remove this boredom …
Racking your brain you find that after having a reluctant stroll on the lane outside your house you may be in a very comfortable state to start off with digital electronics work . As it has always been the case that appears,” Yaar Digital hi toh hai dekh lenge.” And it has been your tryst with overconfidence regarding Digital Electronics that forces you  to give the digital file last priority …..
With almost about to give up and with  lovely bed all set embrace you  with a nice sleep and thought “ki kya hai kal dekh lenge “ …….. Out of blue all of sudden a glance of Tiger appears with mole on his cheek threatening even more …….haunts you  with dreadful consequence …..haalaali……..yourself  as a lamb and he as a atrocious tiger ……..
Then as usual murmuring accusing yourself and then motivating yourself “ kya hai ! bh***** , digital hi toh hai kar lenge …
and you confidently take up the file that you took from Divya from the bag (that you borrowed from your sister) …and as you leaf through the pages …
You feel that rug has been swept under your feet ….
You hear the same voices banging in your eardrums “ ek iski copy dekh aur ek teri “, “pehel  hi kar leta “ “dekh is ladki ka kaam neat tidy clean …shayad words kam pad jaayein “ from your younger sibling
and as usual you  prefer a loud reply “chup chap jake soja “
And next you grumble in mind about the strange juxtaposition of Divya “AGARWAL” and frugality
Yeah.. I mean  ‘agarwals’ are quite frugal
and
 what astonishes you the most …..
Does Divya Agarwal has something to do with frugality when it comes to lab file work …..
You almost go on saying in mind “abbey itna likhne ko kisne kaha tha “……
and then comes an idea of switching on the laptop along with your file work ….
And first thing you almost do in a  flashing second , open three tabs as usual
Facebook , Youtube,Gmail
Mind the order since if papa comes for drinking water which gets noticeable actually audible as he slurps it through…..You may have answer him by saying ki “mail check kar rah hun “. Now as soon as you start with facebook you find against every beautiful chick the green is OFF and you find , out of nowhere , greens against Anit and Vinayak
Hell!! –Is something you mind says up the first
Mundane hours of 12 start with mundane people around then while you were thinking to escape from fb , you see Vinayak popping out of his chat box window

Vinayak Panchal- Kya kar raha hai ?
Sudeep  Tiwari ( almost in deep anguish and frustration ):
SEX
“saale, kya karunga aadhi raat main aur
poppat tiger ka digital wala kaam kar rah hun”

By then you feel devastated when you see Anit sharing info on black holes on Facebook page  and this instigates you to put  yet another string on Anit’s Chat Box [which earlier was full with domesticated inquisitions and  reluctant replies from my side , most of the time not replying to them ; A few inquisitions were  ”bhai fresher main aayega; bhai white shirt kahan se laaun ;bhai aap padhakoo ho ;bhai koi flat hai aapki nazar main college ke paas 8000 main”  phewwww…….]

Sudeep : saale moot ke so jaa !

With laptop in front of you and you yourself in the most obnoxious position with one leg on the verge of the bed and other leg folded by knee and knee touching down the floor , one hand under the chest giving support and other hand busy scribbling down ( chhapai) fast on the practical file

Meanwhile Kavita enquires on Facebook about the
 एकनिष्ठ  and you all of the sudden get reminded of Ramiz and his impeccable integrity and his modesty ; his amazing devotion ,sincerity ……..and you just feel amazed that you find yourself short of words to describe the lad who hails from Government Dungarpur College .

Soon you feel everybody around are well slept and their snoring haunts you and  there you can hear aloud the whistle of the chowkidaar  . God is great ! he only whistles and does not shout “Jaagte Raho “-you feel and the way he gets dressed  and his attire and his moustaches reminds you of the Prabhakaran LTTE  Chief.

Now you feel you are all alone and you will have to help yourself with coffee and Jagjit’s ghazals .
For a while you listen and feel that it has become quite stereotypical  and now even Google Chrome History apart from a few pages on theoretical Physics , a few vague wiki searches , youtube searches and a few erotic searches seems to you flooded by Jagjit’s ghazals .

Of course, Jagjit gives you solace but need of the hour was the metal rock .
After Bhairvi from Anoushka Shankar  you switch over to Rockstar,Jilawatan and Jal …..
Now the first to start was
Tumko paa hi liya ( Kavita Krishnamurthy , Rockstar )
and on video appears  Nargis Fakhri donning a pink top embracing Ranbir from back on the bike …
Her white eyes, British white skin , shining hair , tender and alluring lips make you  feel disastrous about doing the digital work
then comes
Moray Piya ( Jal the band )
giving you the same disgust all  through and the result is  that you  mute the laptop for a while .

After an hour you  increase  the volume
and find an interesting coincidence  for which you thought to write this piece of humour……..
[Rumour toh already bohot hain kami nahi hai …….
Sudeep the only Einstein born to India as everybody here in Mlsu think and rumoured the same in whole of the college ]
It was coincidental that whatever comes to your  mind was accompanied by an apt song on the laptop … nothing deliberate ….
It happened almost unabated with every changing thought

While you  thought what you will say to the Tiger tomorrow while he will be thrashing you
the song instantaneously on the laptop was
Kal humara hai (Call the band)

paas hain 
manzilein apni
har soo phailee hai roshni

faaslon kau hein rastey miley
naye rishtey naye silsiley
chahaton kai diye hein jaley
naye sapnay naye iraadey

suno dil nai pukaara hai
yeh ghar hamara hai
ghar hamara hai

kaho saath hein ham tau
yeh pal hamara hai
kal hamara hai

iss yaqeen sai hai barhna abhee
iss zameen sai hein ham sabhee
sung apney subah layen gai
naye sapnay naye iraadey

suno dil nai pukaara hai
yeh ghar hamara hai
ghar hamara hai

kaho saath hein ham tau
yeh pal hamara hai
kal hamara hai



Then you somehow avert yourself and feel motivated to see that quite amount of work was done
song that appeared on track was
Kismat (Call the band)

YEH KAISA SAFAR BHARKTEE KHAMOSHIAN
ISEE TAMANA MEIN JAAGA HOON AB MEIN BANA INSAAN

JAU CHAHOON AGAR MEIN BANOON ROSHNEE
JAU CHAHOON TAU KISMET LIKH DALOON NAYEE

AB MEIN WOH HIMMAT BANOON TAU ROKO NAHEEN
GIRTEY HUWON KAU JAU THAAM LOON TOKO NAHEEN

MEIN HEE WOH SHAMA BANOON KAREY JAU ROSHNEE
ISEE TAMANNA MEIN JAAGA HUN AB MEIN BANA INSAAN

And finally when clock struck 4 and when you  saw your dull face in mirror
 and reddened eyes
… the track on the laptop was
Shayad (Call the Band )

Kal ki in baaton mein
Kya rahkha hai.
Socho toh kuch bhi nahi
Sab khala hai
Aaj bhi kuchi badla nahi
Kal jahan tha ab hoon wahi
Shayad yahi
Kismet mein likha
Manzil nahi
Phir bhi mein chal raha


In sab sawalon mein
Kya rahkha hai.
Kyon mein kuch socho jab
Sab faana hai
Aaj bhi usi mode pe hoon khada,
Kis gunah ki seh raha hoon sazaa.



Phewwww….
Finally you look back into the file and find that diagrams were not there
as usual
you would shout to the  top of my voice
Gudiya ,,, dearo please make diagrams …..
so sweet
lovely
nice drawing you have
you   even know her  engineering drawing is  good
yaar mujhe toh seedhi line bhi banana nahi aati:

And usually she submits to your gentle requests and makes your diagrams ……………although she does not leave any argument against you as well :
“kab karna seekhehga
boodha ho gaya hai
100 rs lagenege
bla bla bla ……


Good night .


Monday, October 21, 2013

BOYHOOD AND YOUTH

While plesant childhood with sounds, smells and cheers went by
chocking teenage now arrives

Age when  lovers sigh ,
while rebel heart pumps high

While curiosities were in flame ,
Physical desires were always on claim,
Unknown feelings, thousand ambitions
Sometimes praising own creation
Explorations in nature's vicinity
Some authorative shouts putting oneself in pity
Altough some accomplishments , some wins pretty
But some loss & failure came on seeing oppurtunity
Sometimes sighs
sometimes cries
some sleepless nights
claiming unsuccessful tries
Although those years were from confinements & cares
For some meagre wishes - some silent prayers
Soon we grew over our papa's height
that's when he decided to free ourselves from authority so tight
We felt freedom under blue sky in respite
some fears, some authorities were still there in despite
Our curiosities challenged our mind's appetite
Still there was heat of oppresion
Sexual desires burning in suppresion
Mind hesitated in putting up true confession
Parent's dreams and neighbour's expectations
Against our desires , some heavy impositions
To prove ourselves on global frame as revelation
Some blank faces , some unanswered examination
Those years were true crucification
Sometimes for nation's cause dreams of revolution
New experiments , new questions were creeping now
A drive in new city , we all thought so
New avenues , now horizon capturing the spirit of tommorow
new mates , new tastes and new dialects though
Smelling in the air of freedom , new seeds of aspiration to plough
With hard work and persipiration we irrigated them slow
Sometimes recalling bars and shackles we left behind
for we thought this is what we eventually chose
 Together in packs , mingling with counterparts of opposite sex
Some unusual endeavours & some hidden truth now we confessed
Although some inherent boyish intentions were still suppressed
Those valleys and hills fired my imagination & made us restless
But limitations & high aspirations made our heart hopeless
Imprisoned in repute of family and friends
We remained commited to social trends
But soon these limitations & reservations put break on our lust
broke away for no reason from whom we shared our trusts
To know where lie's the love's crux
Now books and books increasing in flux
Love, nature, nation, revolution were now our plucks
Realising trueness of love youth and charm
Mind and soul cherished an unusual calm
While we rest under peace
Alone in valleys hills riverside and trees
Now we are in solitude
with soft and silky hands
it grasped our heart &
made us sorrow
Again we moved to an unknown destination
for unknown's affection and gaining her attention
Wandering in streets , some streets claiming ways to prostitution
from streets of harlots ans sluts , we passed by, recognising family's reputation
Roaming here and there for someon's true affection
Soon i found one after extreme days of exhaustion
Laying in her lap , describing my expression
reflecting first great suffering, then heavenly exalation
Finding that beauty of hers was not classic
but dream of revelation
not measured or bound by the brush of painter
not imprisoned in the chisel of the sculptor
now her innerself makes an impression
her wide deep eyes were only a true reflection
seeing her black hairs and red lips in succession
these were not senders of invitation
rather purity & sweetness of her voice entered into my heart's station
It was not feminine figurine
that ignited my feelings genuine
but its nobility of her spirit
enhancing her strange beauty and dignity
my eyes are now enveloped in tears;one rolling down in self pity
She and I lay under a blossoming tree
which look beautiful in mist of dawn
Lying in silence , listening to heart throbs
adoring each other ;learning that satisfaction lies in unison

Hearts united in sorrow wouldn't separate in glory and happiness
Love cleansed by tears now washes the selfishness
The essence of love binds the two
The mist around, separate them from every worldy foe