BROKEN DREAMS

Some beautiful dreams I have left behind
Some of them blossomed since childhood in my mind
Shattered in pieces and lost their isle
Wasn't isle my dear destination?
Where my dreams & I would have found satisfaction
Thinking" Left them behind or have they left me behind?"-puts me in frustration
Need to find a place where my dreams would find a true cremation
So that I may sleep peacefully, not being affected by their eruption
Chasing my dreams,
Everyday I saw a great success in creation
Waited for it in curious anticipation
Now I look back & see things in sophistication
I ponder & think it was an undone preparation
There were too many citations revealing my indolence
Indecisive behavior like pendulum in oscillation
But still I remember those sleepless nights in its true obsession (its- dreams)
All these thought does not render me any solution rather puts me in self humiliation
Revisiting those days in deep abstraction
I saw, me and my friends, started all with great conviction
But we diverted a bit, it's a true confession
Escapism was our tool giving us false gratification
Connected to our aspirations, were parents' expectations
We broke them all & see their vision now full of suspicion
But couldn't seal our triumph, thinking this, gives my mind affliction
These thoughts have inscribed deep impression& are now beyond omission
Thinking these gloomy things puts me in more complication
Still I look back and with clinical contemplation
What was their in behavior that led to contamination?
Some close friends, I think had selfish intentions
Didn't stop us from going to the road of self destruction
Now when I crawl back, I investigate only a great depression
Where buried are my honest dreams, but what I can do except looking in desperation
Some friends who started as underdogs have emerged as revelation
Now my mind is clear, having no confusion
Trembling I move, thinking false was my conception
Stronger I have grown under circumstances, found a new dreams in parturition
Now educated by bitter bygone, I know dreams are not only compulsion
But they must be, for you, an addiction
New motivation, new inspiration lighting my endeavors, a new exploration
Reliving those ambitions that I didn't choose in hesitation
Bit alteration and modification, now, I move with great compassion
With new companions, new friends & new amalgamation
But those who crossed before are now on new expedition
Seeing them, now, doesn't bleed my heart in mortification
Rather I console myself, thinking I will meet them on some different occasion
On some different voyage & on some other excursion
Where I as a failure will give my representation
To those who sealed my rejection
Fate will support me that day
As I think, I will then have a say
Because on that mighty day
I as a failure & they as accomplishers will stand  proportionate